From Heartbreak, Mourning, Loss. Volume One, Detach or Die
How I lost all my partners
She would ask that I pay half the rent, half the groceries and that I do my share around the house. I like to appear rational, sweet, competent and lovable, so I would say “yes, certainly”. But then I typically would give half of what I owe for the rent, invent excuses, lie. My partner became confused, angry: “where is the money?” I would pout, sulk, and complain: “why do you expect so much of me? Don’t you love me?” I used to procrastinate on everything and with everybody: my partner, my parents, my colleagues, my friends; I could procrastinate with doing the tax return, paying the bills, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, answering an email, writing a report, visiting my parents, making an appointment, buying the plane tickets for our vacation, everything! I would say I’ll do it and then drag my feet to appear as if the task is monumental, although it really wasn’t. My partner would get wary of waiting, and express frustration, anger. I would shake my head and sigh and give her the silent treatment, a most efficient punishment for anybody who dare have expectations.
As a result, I have lost every girlfriend I ever could attract. It took me three years of therapy to change. I now believe in change.
