From Heartbreak, Mourning, Loss. Volume One, Detach or Die
With hindsight…
With hindsight, I find that the first four months of my breakup from Laura was the one period of my life when my instinct was the most disconnected from my mind. Laura could not, nor could I, understand that we were both reacting from our past.
It was a most humiliating experience, a blow to my ego, which brought down all my defensive walls. A parental projection on the partner kills a lover’s connection quicker than hatred! I did not see how I activated Laura’s complexes, and she could not see I felt scared like an abandoned child.
Breaking each other’s heart was a necessity, a most valuable lesson about matters of the heart. I prefer the heart I have now, more than the heart I had then. Paradoxically, I am grateful for the heartbreak.
